Answer from john.655
Time July 29, 2010 at 1:03 am

go to an advice centre see a lawyer someone should be able to help

Answer from Sondra
Time July 29, 2010 at 5:24 am

Yes, (I hate to admit), it is possible, if the evaluator has limited experience. I certainly can understand your concern. Unfortunately, your son already has a chance of having some social & behavioral problems even if your husband isn’t around him—you can thank genetics for that!

Answer from steph c
Time July 29, 2010 at 6:35 am

I hear you I am dealing with one of those to, I think it comes from his childhood, get this he OD on drugs to kill himself & got sent to the city for an evaluation & they let him go the same freakin day. He is a great manipulator, Now he is back on the drugs & by court order I can’t even keep my kids from him, Because he somhow brainwashed the courts! I know from spending 8 years with the *** he is physco & a drug user & he seems to be able to get away with ANYTHING!

Answer from LilSunbe
Time July 29, 2010 at 10:26 am

I can totally relate & I agree with the person who said “give him enough rope & he’ll hang himself”, I have been there & it’s frustrating because they are master manipulators. Stay with it & becareful because I can remember there being times when he would actually make me feel like I was losing my mind. Twisted people they are!

Answer from kitkat
Time July 29, 2010 at 5:23 pm

This is going to be tough on you because you are going to have to be patient & wait for him to hang himself. Just be there for your son & hopefully he will come out of this fine.

Answer from semoange
Time July 29, 2010 at 8:42 pm

As you said they are master manipulators. Yes they can fool anyone & everyone for many years & then when they snap it was man I didnt see that coming by all that no them. In a situation like this it is even more important to hold your temper & make sure that you are involved in everything with your son. Always let him know that he can come to you anytime & ask anything can tell you anything. One thing about it is people with this kind of behavoir are often very “protective”. Always document everything, have it set up that if your dont agree on parenting issues a mediator will be brought in…….granted he can manipulate them but they dont care they focus on what is best for the child.

Answer from Martin R
Time July 29, 2010 at 11:14 pm

It sounds like classic narcisscism. And yes, you’re right that sometimes it takes a whole lot of time to detect because they are not the foaming at the mouth kind of crazy that one would expect to see. They are manipulative & can come across as very sincere & caring when they dont have to capability of being either.
You’re best bet is to document every inicident of violence/abuse because that is more tangible than the subtleties of narcisscism (the manipulation, lying etc). Every angry outburst, just write down what occured & it will take time but a pattern to the behaviour will develop.
They do fool people because they are manipulative. They may not be able to empathsize but many have above average intelligence so they are capable of knowing what people want to hear & are not beyond saying anything to get what they want.
Keep a level head. There’s only 2 ways of dealing with someone like this & that’s 1) Either giving in each & every time to placate them or 2) Coming to blows & bullying them right back until they back off & find someone else to get their supply from. You have to pick a stance & stick to it.
His true colors will show through in time.

Answer from tom s
Time July 30, 2010 at 5:28 am

if other people & professionals think he is fine , maybe you should look yourself in the mirror , ask yourself some tough questions about any possible responsibility you carry

Answer from gypsy g
Time July 30, 2010 at 8:33 am

Its possible. You should document his actions, dates & times.
I feel for you & pray for the best.

Answer from Mickey V
Time July 30, 2010 at 10:35 am

I know the feeling, my ex wife has been the same way. January 29th finally after 15 years she will finally have to go on the stand!!!
Hang in there, give him enough rope to hang himself, this worked in my case. She kept doing crrazier & crazier things. Now the Court will have no choice.

Answer from Daisy
Time July 30, 2010 at 12:00 pm

Normally, I would say no, he wouldn’t be able to fool everyone. But, passing a psyche evaluation isn’t that difficult in a divorce/custody case. What I find difficult to believe is that your attorney could not do a better job in documenting his prior history. For example, if he has lost homes, & had multiple intimate relationships-in my state, those are the very criteria that point to instability in the home. And instability has various “risk” ratings-depending on the longevity of the issues.
You might be bitter, but then again you might not. But people with abusive or violent pasts usually have some kind of legal charges-unless no one reported it. The amount of time given to the ‘professional evaluation’ would also be an indicator. I have heard of evaluations consisting of one interview & a review of the ‘allegations’, with no research. I have heard of intensive months long investigations, observations & detailed reports. However, there are all fees assessed to this type of activity, the Court will pass those costs on to the parties involved, so it might come down to how much do you want to spend? Your lawyer can submit independent reports issued by experts regarding the past behavior & the indications of such.
Otherwise, until he really goes off, unless you & your attorney are willing to challenge & pursue other mechanisms-costly ones-you’ll have to live with the evaluation you were provided.